As I sit here and write this, I'm counting down the hours until my husband comes home from work....about 3 to go depending on what they're doing. My daughter has been crying for whatever reason off and on all day and I have no desire whatsoever to comfort or play with her. I'm bored out of my mind and restless and it's taking its toll.
My next medication check is on Tuesday and I think I'm gonna ask to be tested for bi-polar and have my medication either increased or try something new. I don't think the klonopin is working at all anymore. I find myself having more tantrums during the day than my daughter does and I look at her and think "What am I supposed to do with her?" I'm a mom, shouldn't it be natural? Shouldn't I want to roll around on the floor with her and play and giggle and laugh and be goofy? Am I that selfish a person?
And the fucked up part? I want another one.
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