Or at least I'm going to get one for my mother-in-law that says to stay the hell away from me.
She just doesn't get it. I understand it was just her and my husband when he was growing up so they were really close but she has got to learn to let go. He has my daughter and I now - we are his family. Holidays are going to be spent at home now, just the 3 of us. There is no need to see our daughter every weekend. She will not die from not seeing her grandparents.
She calls and texts every weekend, "What are you guys doing today?". We know why she's calling so just come out and say it so we can say no! I'm sorry she's got no life and she relies on us to keep her entertained but we're not her friends or babysitter. It's not our fault her husband goes off and races every other weekend, leaving her home alone. She married him knowing what he was like.
I brought this up about two weeks ago in therapy, telling my doctor that I needed a break from them. She said it sounded like a good idea. Just like I need a break from Rayne sometimes, it's good to get away from them and spend time with my family. But I think I'll get a doctors note taht specifically says to stay the hell away for my health..... and hers.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sleep begets sleep
So I'm thinking little Miss Rayne might actually be falling into a schedule. Nevermind the fact that she's still sleeping in her swing and has been for about 3 weeks (which still bugs me) but I can get one nap out of her in the morning and one in the afternoon for about an hour each. Which means a little exercise for me and possibly a nap since my latest medication switch is kicking my ass. I am now up to 80mg a day of Celexa, still on Saphris though I'm running out, and the newest addition is Xanax.
I've been obessing over my weight lately and it's bugging the crap out of me. I don't look horrible, but I was doing great at losing the extra baby weight then I gained it all back. My wonderful husband told me I had gone through alot in the past couple of weeks and switched medication 2 or 3 different times, so I couldn't be to hard on myself. But it's tough...between anxiety and the ppd and whatever else they think is going on with me I try not to stress but I think it's just in my DNA. :)
Though I did get out of visiting the other in-laws this weekend. It was a last minute trip that was going to cause alot more stress than it was worth so my husband called his father to let him know we just couldn't swing it. My husband's step-mother is very Catholic and opinionated and I just didn't feel like dealing with her snarky comments about what we dress Rayne in or how we feed her or put her to bed - and may the Gods help us if baptism ever came up, because she isn't and will not be any time in the future. I'm sure she'd think we were 100% heathen after that.
I've been obessing over my weight lately and it's bugging the crap out of me. I don't look horrible, but I was doing great at losing the extra baby weight then I gained it all back. My wonderful husband told me I had gone through alot in the past couple of weeks and switched medication 2 or 3 different times, so I couldn't be to hard on myself. But it's tough...between anxiety and the ppd and whatever else they think is going on with me I try not to stress but I think it's just in my DNA. :)
Though I did get out of visiting the other in-laws this weekend. It was a last minute trip that was going to cause alot more stress than it was worth so my husband called his father to let him know we just couldn't swing it. My husband's step-mother is very Catholic and opinionated and I just didn't feel like dealing with her snarky comments about what we dress Rayne in or how we feed her or put her to bed - and may the Gods help us if baptism ever came up, because she isn't and will not be any time in the future. I'm sure she'd think we were 100% heathen after that.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Worst in decades...
This is complete off subject of anything I've been going through but Saturday night North Carolina finally got hit with the storm sytem that had already ripped through 6 other states and it wasn't pretty.
We had actually just started leaving town when a tornado came through and destroyed about 30 homes in my old neighborhood, 10-15 more on base, and about 30 mobile homes in a park across the street. One of the local businesses was destroyed as well and countless more homes were damaged. News reports say there were anywhere from 4-7 fatalities in North Carolina, bringing the total death toll up to 21-25 across the 6 states affected.
It's crazy. Our old apartment complex was just minutes down the road from the Montclair subdivision and we just left there 3 weeks ago. They've closed off the second half of the main road and making people show proof that they live in the affected areas.
I want to help but I have no money to give, which is what the red cross is asking for. Sending prayers and good thoughts just doesn't seem enough right now. Not for a storm that is being called the worst in decades.
We had actually just started leaving town when a tornado came through and destroyed about 30 homes in my old neighborhood, 10-15 more on base, and about 30 mobile homes in a park across the street. One of the local businesses was destroyed as well and countless more homes were damaged. News reports say there were anywhere from 4-7 fatalities in North Carolina, bringing the total death toll up to 21-25 across the 6 states affected.
It's crazy. Our old apartment complex was just minutes down the road from the Montclair subdivision and we just left there 3 weeks ago. They've closed off the second half of the main road and making people show proof that they live in the affected areas.
I want to help but I have no money to give, which is what the red cross is asking for. Sending prayers and good thoughts just doesn't seem enough right now. Not for a storm that is being called the worst in decades.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Crawl already, damn it!
Thank the gods for Valium because Rayne is trying my patience with this crawling bit.
I love the fact that she's hitting her milestones and that her weight doesn't seem to be as big of a hinderance as the doctors made it out to be, but the in between stages of it all is driving me i-n-s-a-n-e. She rolls over to a doggy-style (it's the only way to describe it!!) position then lets her legs fall out behind her so she ends up on her stomach. Well, she hates being on her stomach so then the crying starts. I let her flail around for a bit before sitting her back up, only to have her back in that exact same position 2 minutes later. It's exhausting! What the hell are we going to do when she actually starts crawling....or walking?
We're buying rope. :)
I love the fact that she's hitting her milestones and that her weight doesn't seem to be as big of a hinderance as the doctors made it out to be, but the in between stages of it all is driving me i-n-s-a-n-e. She rolls over to a doggy-style (it's the only way to describe it!!) position then lets her legs fall out behind her so she ends up on her stomach. Well, she hates being on her stomach so then the crying starts. I let her flail around for a bit before sitting her back up, only to have her back in that exact same position 2 minutes later. It's exhausting! What the hell are we going to do when she actually starts crawling....or walking?
We're buying rope. :)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Oh, to wish upon a pill
Dare I say, I think the new set of drugs is working. Then again, that's what I thought about the first set and they stopped within a month. But I'm trying the path of an optimist this time around.
I am enjoying my daughter again. Though that's not to say she doesn't annoy me every now and again, but I'm not having a melt down when she does. Especially now that she's not sleeping in her crib for some reason or going down for bed easily, the pills help to take the edge off and I can get myself to calm down or not even get angry at all.
Absolutely kills the sex drive though - a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y. It sucks. Haven't had an orgasm since I started the medication and they can't give me anything to help with that until I get all the meds straightened out first. So until then, sex doesn't suck, but...well...sex isn't great. :)
I am enjoying my daughter again. Though that's not to say she doesn't annoy me every now and again, but I'm not having a melt down when she does. Especially now that she's not sleeping in her crib for some reason or going down for bed easily, the pills help to take the edge off and I can get myself to calm down or not even get angry at all.
Absolutely kills the sex drive though - a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y. It sucks. Haven't had an orgasm since I started the medication and they can't give me anything to help with that until I get all the meds straightened out first. So until then, sex doesn't suck, but...well...sex isn't great. :)
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