I've begun to think motherhood has brought out the worst in me. Which is a horrible thought. This is what I wanted, what I cried over, and tried for for months and struggled through 10 months of pregnancy for, but here I am robbing myself of precious moments with my daughter because I can't relax and control my temper.
I look at other mothers who have it rough - and I mean horrible, stressful, absolutely unfair situations, like the mother of Scarlett, whose struggle almost all of us on BBC have become very familar with - and I try to figure out where I get off being the way I am. There are far more serious things we could be going through and how would I ever handle that if I can't get through a simple feeding without having a meltdown.
My poor Rayne is only 3 1/2 months old and I pray she doesn't remember me this way forever.
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