Parking at Michael's

   So we had a meltdown yesterday.




   And of course when I say we, I mean me. It started out as a good day. My daughter and I got up, she got fed and went back to sleep, so I started taking care of the house. I even got to take a shower, a LONG, hot shower, without having to worry about rushing out because she was crying. I took down Christmas decorations while she watched, I ATE lunch...it was awesome. Then she fell asleep and I figured it was the perfect time to run to Michael's to grab some Sculpey clay for her ornament. (I ordered one online but apparently it was out of stock and it took them 3 WEEKS to tell me...after Christmas had already passed...but that's a WHOLE other post) 


   She started getting fussy on the way there so I figured I'd make a bottle once I got there. Nope. As soon, and I mean literally, as soon as I put the car in park she screamed like I dropped her on her head. It was like a switch for me. I immediately put the car in reverse and went back home. There was no way I could walk through the store, feed her and concentrate on what I needed to get. I called my husband yelling into the phone and crying.


   I'm just sick of feeling like I'm stuck at home because she freaks out whenver we go somewhere. Like Walmart. Since she was a month and a half old, we have not been able to go to Walmart, any Walmart, without having to change and feed her once we get there. I don't get it. For me, it's just so annoying that I can't go to the store, get what I need to get done, without having to hold her and feed her. And it's not like she's starving - I can finish feeding her minutes before we leave and she still wakes up and gets fussy at the store. Then I feel like all eyes are on me, which makes me nervous and my mind starts to go...I feel like people are staring and thinking I'm a crappy mom because my child is crying or I have to feed her while walking around. It's dumb and irrational, but that's what goes through my head.


   Of course, by the time we got home she was asleep. Then the rest of the day went fine. By the time my husband got home we were smiles and grins.


   Maybe I'm just bi-polar...  lol