I was in tears the other night over Rayne.
No she wasn't hurt, or sick, or pulling my hair out like she violently likes to do - she wouldn't sleep in her crib.
This has been an issue for as long as she's been alive. She was diagnosed with GERD around 3 weeks old which meant 3-4 months of her sleeping in her swing and then her car seat before we finally got her in her crib around 5 months old. And we were doing great until we moved then it was back in the swing again. So we decided to try the crib again over the past few weeks and she's been in it the last 3 nights I am proud to say.
My husband asks why it bothers me so much. I get so anxious to the point of getting sick when we have to put her down for the night. For me, there's this image of motherhood in my mind and of how things are supposed to go. The baby cries, you feed her, she stops. She cries, you change her, she stops. She falls asleep in her crib every night. All of this I know, logically, doesn't always happen perfectly, but emotionally it just throws me for a loop. I just want her to be normal and fall into that natural routine that every other mother seems to have established.
You'd think that by now, at eight, almost nine. months old I would have learned to let go of that. She's her own normal and I've got to learn to embrace it.
My son had horrible GERD when he was tiny. We kept him in a inclined bassinet until he was far too large. We got him into his crib at around six months, but we used the pack and play in our room as a mid point. It seemed to help him adjust better. I put lots of things in his crib that make him feel comfortable like his blankie and his favorite toy and a soother. It seems to help. Trust me when I say that no mom has a baby like the perfect scenario you described. We all just get by and you are doing the best you can.
ReplyDeleteThanks. :) And deep down, I know no baby is perfect, I just wish she was closer to normal I guess. lol But then she wouldn't be her!
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