From caretaker to mother

  I was just thinking in the bathroom tonight (because I always do my best thinking in there - TMI? Sorry...) about the sudden, or rather not so sudden, change in how I feel about Rayne being hurt.

   I used to be the one that hurt her, and the worst part was I didn't care. She could be crying, screaming, throwing up from being so upset and I would just keep yelling and making it worse until I was shaking with fury and unable to control myself. Now, she takes a head dive into the floor or the nightstand in our room and I scoop her up instantly and smother her in calming kisses and some soothing words.

   I love her laugh, especially the belly laughs where her entire body bounces up and down and her chubby cheeks jiggle. I love her toothless grin and her long fingers and toes that she gets from me. I find her hilarious when she's trying to do something new or reach something and she can't so she gets frustrated and yells as she squints her eyes (something else she also got from me...)  :)

   I'm finally feeling like a mother to my daughter and it's about damn time.

09/30/2010

"A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future"