I am one of THOSE mothers...

Selfish.

    Lazy.

Self-centered.

      Horrible.

  Damaging.

Bad.


   Yes, these are all terms I have heard used for mothers like myself. Mothers who decided not to breastfeed without a, what others have deemed, valid reason not to.

   My story is not one of a heartbroken woman struggling to get her precious newborn to latch on to her breast to be fed, or of a mother crying in the corner while waiting for her milk to come in. My story is - I just didn't want to.

   My mother didn't breastfeed, and I'm pretty sure my grandmother didn't either, so some people might blame that. No good examples or role models to look up to. Others would say it was selfishness because I wanted to eat and drink what I wanted to after my daughter was born. And I guess I could also try, in self defense, to use my anxiety, OCD and PPD as an excuse since it's because of all those issues that I couldn't even stand to be in the same room as my daughter for those horrible couple of months.

   But no, let's be honest - I just didn't want to. It was not even something I thought of during those 9 months of pregnancy (except for when those nosey bastards at the health department tried to make me feel bad for my decision).  And I'm not going to defend my decision anymore either. I'm not ashamed nor do I regret the choice not to breastfeed, but I'm not going to waste my time on petty, cold-hearted, judgemental bitches who feel it is their place to decide who's a better mother and why. Some people may graduate from high school but never completely leave.

   Plus, I'm finally ejoying the little girl that I gave birth to. Don't those people have better things to do?